I guess it’s only fitting that my mURPHY’S lAW mONDAYS have been posted on Tuesdays lately. I mean, that’s like the crux of Murphy’s Law, right?
Anyways, this past week was dedicated to potty training my little princess. It was hell on wheels. I seriously contemplated checking myself into a mental institution on Day 2 just so I could get a break. Honestly I probably could have picked a better week to do it. This week I had to deal with insurance stuff, getting the van damages appraised, picking up a rental (or two), and a play date. Proooooobably not a good week to do an intensive Potty Training Boot Camp. But once I get something in my mind, I do it and there is no deterring me. You might call me stubborn. Maybe. Just a little.
So I insisted on pushing through, knowing that our necessary errands, like to Enterprise to pick up our rental, might deter potty training a little bit but I was confident that Madilyn was going to be potty trained by the end of Day 1.
CUE LAUGHTER
So Day 3 rolls around and we went to see our friend’s new house. I made sure they had a potty chair before we left our house and they did so we went on our happy way, thinking that surely if she had to go she’d use their potty.
Yeah, no go.
When we left their house, I had to go trade the rental Camry in for a rental Mini Van. Having a car just wasn’t working for our family of 5. When we got to Enterprise, I told Madilyn we were going to go try to use the potty and she screamed “NOOOOO!” Being that we were out in public, I chose to not fight it. We were only 7 miles from home and I knew that she could hold it – she had proven that time and time again the previous 2 days.
I put Madilyn and Grady into the van while I switched their car seats and our belongings out of the car. Grady was sleeping calmly and Madilyn was being her busy self, when I came back with their diaper bag. Madilyn met me at the sliding van door and proudly announced:
“Mommy, I pee!”
I said, “Aw, baby girl! You couldn’t hold it any longer, huh?” Then reminded her that we go pee on the potty and not in our panties.
I searched her legs and didn’t see any pee so I pulled her to me (meanwhile thinking, “Seriously? You HAD to piss in the brand new minivan before we’ve even driven it off the lot?!) and noticed that only her butt was wet. I thought that was kind of strange and I looked all over the carpet in the middle row for a pee stain and didn’t see or feel anything. I shrugged my shoulders and redressed her then strapped her into her car seat.
I got into the van and pulled my seat belt across my lap, taking notice of the AWESOME center console that had 4 total cup holders in it – 2 in the front and 2 in the back. It was then that I noticed that whomever had used the van previously had left a nice puddle of Mountain Dew in one of the back…cup…hol…ders….
And then I laughed. I laughed so hard that the Enterprise workers probably questioned my sanity.
Madilyn hadn’t had an accident at all! She had pulled her pants down as far as she could get them and had sat on the cup holder to pee.
I tell no lies.
That's not Mountain Dew.
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